Freedom

It's been 42 hours since my last cigarette. I am tired of being tied to this awful habit. My kids are tired of it too, so we made a pact, they are going to be extra good for me since I am trying to quit! I'm chewing nicotine gum furiously and praying a lot. Addiction is slavery, anyone who's been addicted to anything knows what I'm talking about. But I'm going to handle this like I'm handling my other addictions, one day at a time. It's a system that works, prayer, support and a sense of humor! I've got a good feeling that I'm gonna do it this time. Woo hoo!

My computer is making me sooo mad...it keeps shutting down on me. I've started this blog once already today, grrrrr.

I think I broke my toe, seriously, it's black and blue and swollen so big it looks hilarious. I must walk like a clown or a cowboy that just got of his horse. How do I always stub my toe? I'm famous for it, and I can't seem to stop doing it. It's so f*#%ing painful you'd think I'd learn. But noooooooo, and I even keep hitting the same toe over and over again. How do I do this???? There is something very wrong with me, I swear.

I got an email from my cousin Dawn and she told me she was elected Homecoming queen at her high school!! I am so happy for her! That young lady has overcome some serious obstacles in her life, she is so strong and insightful. I couldn't be prouder, she's an inspiration. Not only that, it's very unusual for a Native student to be the homecoming queen at that school. I don't even know if it's happened before, if it has it's not been very many times. It certainly never happened when I was in school...back then the natives were treated so badly it was sickening. I saw some terrible racism at that school so it is exciting to know that it is changing. How nice to hear some positive news in this world today! Thanks for writing Dawn, you made my day! And congratulations girl, you ROCK!!!!

I was up most of the night, worrying of course. I hate that I do that. My grandma used to do that, it runs in the fam. I used to read the Bible to her, the passage about how God takes care of the birds and the flowers so of course He'll take care of us, and she would nod her head and say "Ya, dat's right". Then we would pray for everyone that she was worried about and I would sing her to sleep. I need a dose of my own medicine. Any volunteers? I go to bed at about 11 p.m. so if you want to come over and read the Bible, pray and sing I'll be more than happy to let you in. I need some sleep....

Hope everyone is warm and happy. Catch ya later, gotta go meet Kira and Jesse on their walk home from school.